my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
