He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
