Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
