I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
