Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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