You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
