we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize