Where did you get a picture of my penis
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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