"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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