Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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