Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
