My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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