if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
