see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
