Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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