After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
