we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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