just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize