I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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