It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
