I think I just saw someone hide a body.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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