party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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