So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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