forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
