We're facebook friends in real life
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
