I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
