whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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