I must be too annoying 4 u.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
