Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wish i was in the wii world.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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