angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
