Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
