O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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