if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
so much tequila, so little girl.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
