What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize