...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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