His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
