I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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