I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
