U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Randomize
