Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
