im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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