I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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