I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
