It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
