My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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