Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
