Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he thought i was a dude.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize