last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
