I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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