just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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