11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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