how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
