She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Sorry about my life...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
