thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize