chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
