Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
