ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
