screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
