It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize