I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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