I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
