so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
