Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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