i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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