Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize