so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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