Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
