Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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