she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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