i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
