Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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