Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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