even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
