Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
