I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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