Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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