and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize