I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
