you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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