My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Oh god it's open bar.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
