I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
