I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize