For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
